...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
