Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
