Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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