it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Farmville is her only friend.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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