you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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