there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
