That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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