Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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