i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
