a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
