Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
