I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just crazy horny about you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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