Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
