I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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