I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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