We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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