ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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