One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
