I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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