look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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