I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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