My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
