Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
