We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
