i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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