I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
