I CAN MOONWALK!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
