real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
