My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
