my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
