Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
