He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
