Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
