Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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