yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she smelled like a LAN party
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
