It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did I show you my penis last night?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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