I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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