is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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