my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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