I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
