nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
