i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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