We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
3 2 1 whiskey
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I party with great urgency now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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