No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
