Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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