Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
