He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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