I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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