I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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