Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
