I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
