I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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