Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
