just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
