Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Say something about gay babies.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
