I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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