dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
