We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
