if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
