if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize