Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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