He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize