At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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